A selection of Rabbinic wedding invitations in history and the variations of customs

 Originally written for and published in Ami Magazine

Ever wonder what would make a wedding invitation Jewish? Are there specific traditions on how and what to write on an invitation? Printed invitations can be found for Jewish Weddings starting from the late 17th century, and over the centuries many different customs and details emerged.  Many of these customs are still prevalent today, while others have been lost to time. While we can’t go back in time and participate in the weddings of the gedolim of today or yesteryear, we can often take a look at their wedding invitations to get a personal look into the marriage day of these great people and their celebration. 

An example of a surviving early wedding invitation is that of the daughter of R. Avraham Broda (1640-1717, Rabbi in Prague, Metz and Frankfurt and author of Eshel Avraham), and her husband, Yissachar Ber the son of Gabriel ben Yechiel Michel Weiner. The invitation to the wedding, which took place in Prague in 1706,  features a lengthy poetic style with a notable absence of the name of the Kallah, her father describing her as my daughter, the Kallah. The practice of writing poems on the invitations grew popular and in the wedding invitation of the fourth Slonimer Rebbe, R. Shlomo Dovid Yehoshua Weinberg Hy”d (1914-1943) which took place in the town of Aleksander, we find an acrostic poem featuring the names of the chatan and kallah. 

Oftentimes, additional stanzas of poetry would be written using various words of blessing to the new couple as an acrostic. In the invitation to the wedding of the former Vizhinitz Rebbe’s son, R. Pinchas Shalom Hager (1948-2015) to the daughter of Rebbe Shmuel Zvi Horowitz of Spinka, we find the words Lemazal Tov spelled out via an acrostic poem as well. By the wedding to the wedding of 2 first cousins, both grandchildren of the Sfas Emes, we find the words Chasan and Kallah used as an acrostic as well. 

An ancient custom that was nearly forgotten today, is that of having Friday evening meals for wedding feasts, known already in Talmudic times and had the economical advantage of combining the Shabbat Meal, the Sheva Berachot and the Wedding meal in to one feast. A memorable wedding invitation for the wedding of Rabbi Yehudah Yudel Rosenberg’s (1859–1935) daughter Chanah (Annie, born 1897) to Moshe Hadler notes one such example. The printed invitation, begins with an acrostic poem, that spells out the name of the bride and groom, Moshe and Chanah. This is followed by the text of the invitation containing 101 words, each and every one starting with the Hebrew letter Aleph! The Chuppah took place late Friday afternoon in R. Yudel's synagogue Beth Jacob, at 17 Elm Street, Toronto, at 3 pm, on a winter day, the first of Adar 1916. This was followed by a meal at the bride's home, the Rabbi's residence. 

When Rav Yosef Shalom Elyashiv (1910-2012) married the daughter of Rav Aryeh Levin, the wedding took place following the same custom on a late Friday afternoon in the Rosenberg Hotel in Jerusalem. The invitation takes into account the illustrious yichus of the Chatan, and alludes to the sefer of his grandfather by noting the sedra of the week as that of Leshem Shevo Ve’Achlama, the name of his grandfather, the Leshem’s sefer. Interestingly, the timing on this invitation does not state that it would be punctual, rather in a reversal, the time for the Chuppah is stated as “about three in the afternoon”.

One notable exception to the custom of the Friday Afternoon/Evening weddings was the city of Cracow. Following an incident where a tragedy occurred during a Friday Night wedding, R. Moshe Isserles (The Rema) forbade such weddings in his city of Cracow, a ban which was noted as being in place until the Holocaust. To circumvent this decree, the local Jews would still get married on Friday afternoons but would venture out to the adjoining suburb of Podgorze, just outside of Cracow and perform the Chuppah there. A record of one such wedding, is that of R. Shabtai Cohen which took place in 1935, while the invitation states that the wedding meal will take place in Cracow, the chuppah is stated as taking place in the nearby Podgorze. 

Generally, the invitations of Gedolim’s simchas were in Hebrew only and mentioned only the Hebrew date. There were though several notable exceptions, including that of  the wedding of the daughter of the Bostoner Rebbe, Rabbi Pinchas Dovid Horowitz to R. Yosef Shmelke Brandwein (of the Stretiner Chassidic Dynasty). The invitation includes Yiddish alongside Hebrew, and the date is given as Tu Bishvat as well as the 4th of February, 1920 Boston. Above the text, appears an illustration entitled “Ceremony” depicting a ring being placed on the finger of the Kallah. 

Another such invitation is that of R. Ovadia Yosef, where the invitation was both in Hebrew and French, and the date given as 4th of Nissan and the 26th of March, 1944 with a similar illustration to that of the Bostoner Rebbe’s invitation. . 

With time, particularly in the hasidic world, the invitations served as a place where the Yichus of the chatan could be displayed. Many invitations of weddings between Hasidic Dynasties contained extensive family histories and record much valuable information. Less common, though not unheard of, is the listing of the Kallah’s yichus, at times superseding the yichus of the chatan. One example is that of the wedding of R. Yisroel Hager (born 1945), one of the current Vizhintz Rebbes, where his wife’s yichus, from the illustrious Twerski family is noted. In R. Menashe Klein (1924–2011), the Ungvarer Rav’s second marriage invitation, we found a very lengthy detailing of his wife, Ahuvah’s yichus, starting with her father, R. Dovid Shlomo Frankel Hy”d, all the way up to the Mareh Yechezkel, R. Amram Chasida, and the Maharal of Prague ending with “etc.”. Interestingly, on his side, the yichus is not stated at all, and being a child survivor of the Holocaust, his brother R. Ben-Zion Klein is noted as the brother’s family. 

When the daughter of R. Ahron of Sadigura (1877-1913, the Kedushas Ahron) was getting married, he had already passed away, at the young age of 36. On the invitation to the wedding, which took place in 1924, the invitation was signed by the mother and brother of the Kallah, and alongside her illustrious yichus, the text invokes the name of her late father, that she should be blessed in his merit. Similarly, in the wedding invitation of R. Shaul Alter’s (Born 1957) wedding from 1977, we find that he mentions his uncle, R. Simcha Bunim Alter,  the newly appointed Gerrer Rebbe at the time, in whose merit the new couple should be blessed. 

At times, the invitations can be striking for their simplicity, a good example being the invitation to the wedding of R. Michel Yehuda Lefkowitz (1913-2011), which took place on Lag Baomer in 1941. Just the very basic information is provided, with a minimal design present. Rav Chaim & Rebbetzin Batsheva Kanievsky’s wedding invitation is strikingly simple as well, with no yichus mentioned, despite the great lineage of both sides. Similarly, the wedding invitation of R. Moshe (1879-1941), the son of R. Chaim Soloveitchik was rather bare, but notably, it does mention the name of R. Chaim Soloveitchik’s wife, alongside his name. 

Alongside the standard invitations, at times, there were separate invitations for the women, sent by the mother or grandmother of the bride or groom. When R. Menachem Mendel Schneersohn (1902-1994) married the daughter of the previous rebbe on 27th November, 1929 in Warsaw, the Rebbetzin, Nechama Dina Schneesohn handed out her own simpler invitations to her guests. In Belz as well, when the Rebbe’s children were married, the rebbetzin would print her own invitations to be distributed to her guests. 

 In Chabad today, the wedding invitation of R. Menachem Mendel Schneersohn, which took place on the 14th of Kislev, 1928 took on much significance. At least two versions of the invitations were sent out, to those who were expected to attend and those that would not be able to physically be there at the wedding. In one of his sichos, the rebbe encouraged his followers to copy the text of his own wedding invitation for their own occasions, a practice still prevalent today in the Chabad movement.

Zemiros/Bentchers given out at weddings with the names of the bride and groom are now ubiquitous, but in America, a famed Jewish philanthropist is credited with being the first to implement this practice. In 1914, Sadie Fischel, daughter of Harry Fischel, a leading Orthodox Jewish philanthropist of the era, married David Kass at the Hotel Astor in New York, and a Bentcher was published to commemorate the occasion. It contained the entire Hebrew and English text of the prayer as well as the lyrics to Hatikvah, titled within as the Jewish National Anthem. In another American first, Mr Harry Roggen, in 1908 married Hattie Goldberg in Hotel Majestic, Central Park, New York. At the wedding, in what was described as the first such occasion, Yarmulkas made for the occasion were distributed to the guest, a practice that grew popular among the Orthodox in the United States and still prevalent in certain circles. As the Jewish world of weddings evolves and customs come and go, it is curious to see which of the customs are here to stay and which are destined to be forgotten. With the swift move the world is making towards electronic writing and further away from physical printed items, only time will tell if invitations will stay a part of our tradition or will go the way of the town courier, who in preceding eras was hired to announce the coming wedding throughout the village.